One of the great things about being a Christian is having hope.
Hope that God is in control and will work things out for our good (Romans 8:28).
Hope that God is working in us and through us for good things (Philippians 1:6).
Hope that God is a God of the impossible (Matthew 19:26).
Hope that God is working out the dreams in our hearts (Psalm 37:3-4).
Hope that God’s love is as big and amazing as He says it is (Ephesians 3:18-19).
Hope that God will do amazing things we can see and know (Ephesians 3:20).
Hope that God will allow us to encourage and help others (Matthew 5:16).
Hope that God sees us and knows us (Luke 12:7).
Hope that God has a great future for us (Jeremiah 29:11).
Hope that God has created us as a masterpiece of His grace (Ephesians 2:10).
Hope that God will allow us to be with Him for eternity (John 3:16).
And hope is a wonderful thing.
Until we place in people or jobs or something other than God. Because then hope disappoints. People let us down. Jobs only use us. And no one thinks twice about assigning motives to your words, meaning to your actions, and intentions to your heart. No one cares about who you really are, choosing to tell you their assignments rather than know the real you.
And that’s where I find myself this week. With many tears and much heartbreak. After being told once again about my bad intentions and hostile words. And I have been wondering how five years have gone by without anything really changing. In fact, it seems to be getting worse. And I always feel like the target. I always feel like the villain. I always feel like no matter how good my intentions and how well I stay within the “rules” that I will never get it right. And it broke my heart this week to realize all these things.
But even without hope in my fellow man, I am still thankful. I have great friends that have stepped up to plate and encouraged me through my tears, assuring me the picture being painted isn’t the true me. They have reminded me about God’s love and the hope of His calling. And I am grateful for them.
Yes, man disappoints. But God never does. He is faithful and true, just like He promised. So as I figure out how to deal with the disappearance of hope in man this week, I trust God to reveal His purposes and believe He will show me if this is the beginning of a new season. I trust God to count and keep every tear, to be redeemed in His perfect time. I trust God to still my tongue and heal my hurt feelings so that I can walk in with grace and dignity. I trust God. Period. So now I’ll wait to see how He writes this chapter of my story.
Marie Fremin. 9/8/17