What am I Chasing?

There is a best plan for me in each season of my life.  God has a purpose for every trial I walk through, every difficulty I face, and every pain I feel.  I don’t understand the reason why most of the time. 

 

And in not understanding, I start to chase. 

I chase people God knows will keep me from His purposes.

I chase places God knows will keep dragging me back into the past.

I chase passions God knows will hinder me from loving people fully.

I chase pursuits God knows will prevent me from making progress.

I chase popularity God knows will prevent me from hearing and following Him.

 

What am I Chasing.jpg

 

God sees my struggle as I face of the dilemma of going my way – chasing the easy things that are accessible and make me feel good – versus following Him down the path that will require perseverance and patience.  He knows I will want to choose easy over hard, now over later, happy over joy.  And He knows the damage these things will do to me and those around me, both now and in the future. 

 

But He loves me so much He allows me to choose.  Every day.  Every choice.  As I stand at the crossroads, deciding how I will choose, determining if I more believe in the truth of myself or my God, He whispers lovingly in my ear and gently into my heart.  Wisdom.  Choose wisdom.

 

He hopes I will be wise enough to hear His warnings about the temporary nature of easy things, which I will have to chase again and again and again (without end) to keep my feelings fresh and new.

 

He hopes I will be wise enough to lean into patience, which requires pausing to consider all the possibilities and thinking through the consequences both good and bad.

 

And I hope so, too.

 

So, I have to consider … what am I chasing?

 

Who is in my life that I insist be there?

What do I refuse to let go of, convinced I need it?

When am I choosing to ignore needs instead of loving people?

Why am I making the crazy choices I do and creating regret?

Where am I going that I know is keeping me back or down?

How am I not changing the way I think, feel, speak, and act?

 

Because if I really want to chase God – if I really want my life to make a difference, if I really want to experience God’s love to the fullest, if I really want to live and give grace – then I need to ask these hard questions … honestly.  I need to be real about where I am – and how I got there.

 

And only then can I start to chase God.  Not people.  Not places.  Not passions.  Not pursuits.  Not popularity.

 

Only then can I be Peter, standing on the crashing waves, boldly walking without care (Matthew 14:29).

 

Only then can I be Jesus, kneeling the garden praying “My Father, if there is no other way than this, drinking this cup to the dregs, I’m ready.  Do it Your way” (Matthew 26:41 MSG).

 

Only then can I be Paul, stating “I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances” (Philippians 4:11 MSG) while standing in prison chains awaiting his death.

 

Only then can I be James, knowing God’s love for people and choosing to live in a way that “we’re not going to unnecessarily burden” (Acts 15:19 MSG) people with our traditions and regulations and interpretations.

 

Only when I chase God – with a passionate and pure pursuit – will I find all that I need to successfully steward my life … and so much more! 

 

Loving Father,

Thank You for the possibility of having Your best.  Thank You for loving me enough to make a way to connect with me personally.  As I consider how to navigate through my day and steward my life, I pray You help me find Your direction and Your way.  I pray You help me hear Your loving whisper guiding me toward Your will and Your way.  Help me to be like Peter, whose excitement could not be contained when he saw his risen Savior on the shoreline.  Help me to be like Peter, who reversed his denials of Jesus with his declarations of love – and was given a new purpose and position in Your kingdom.  Help me to be like Peter, whose truth could not be contained when he was in the upper room on Pentecost.  Help me to discern Your will so I can steward my life in that direction.  Help me to keep my focus on You instead of the people around me who seem to have it all and the things around me that tempt me to unbelieve.  Thank You for Your correction – and Your direction – when I miss Your mark.  Thank You for redeeming my past mistakes and redefining my future ministry.  In Jesus’ all-might name.  AMEN!

 

Marie Fremin.  8/25/19.

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