If I Never …

“… But even if He doesn’t, it wouldn’t make a bit of difference …” (Daniel 3:18 MSG)

 

If I never

 

Father, I have an image, a dream, an ideal of what my “perfect” life should look like. And as each birthday comes and goes, I am reminded of something important – my life is in Your hands, and though it does not look like what I imagined it would be, it is GOOD.

 

And even if I never get one thing I dreamed of …

It won’t make a bit of difference on how much I trust You to direct my life.

It won’t make a bit of difference on how much I enjoy worshipping You.

It won’t make a bit of difference on how much I believe in Your good plans for my life.

 

Even if I never make a six or seven figure salary, You are still good and I will still give faithfully into Your house out of what You allow to flow through my hands.

 

Even if I never am challenged to my full capabilities, You are still good and I will choose to find the blessings in where You have placed me and what You have given me to do.

 

Even if I never settle into a job for more than a few years, You are still good and I will be grateful for the people You allowed me to meet and skills You allowed me to develop.

 

Even if I never have a “normal” boss who appreciates and encourages me, You are still good and I will pray for the compassion to love the unlovable by seeing what You see.

 

Even if I never have a home of my own, You are still good and I will find contentment with the shelter You provide.

 

Even if I never get married, You are still good and I will believe You have a great purpose for my life that could not be accomplished unless I was able to singularly focus on You.

 

Even if I never have or mother a child, You are still good and I will trust You to redirect those affections and needs in a purposed direction.

 

Even if I never impact people with my writing, You are still good and I will continue to praise You and connect more intimately with You with my words.

 

Even if I never see the wonders of the world with my natural eyes, You are still good and I will hold onto the hope of seeing them in their full splendor on the other side of eternity.

 

Even if I never have a huge circle of friends, You are still good and I will thank You for those few loyal and true friends who are there and who do care.

 

Even if I never have everything I think I want …

I will have unflinching confidence.

That You are for me.

That You are with me.

That You are working both in me and through me for my good and Your glory.

 

I will choose to remember that distraction is easy – whether it be the hum-drum everyday ordinary that I take for granted or the heightened chaos of a crisis that I stumble through or the blindness of my desire or my pain that I refuse to deal with – but this easy will lead me AWAY from God’s best.

 

So I need to choose to take the narrow way that requires effort – continuing to do good, continuing to give, continuing to seek, continuing to forgive, continuing to believe, continuing to repent, continuing to grow, continuing to worship – so that my life starts to look more like the life Jesus lived to show me and then died to give me.

 

And even if You do not answer one of my prayers or produce one of my dreams the way I want, even if nothing turns out the way I expected, “it wouldn’t make a bit of difference” in how much HOPE I have that Your hand is on my life and You are shaping it in the best way possible.

 

I want to live beyond my imaginations to embrace what You have for me.

Even if I have to let go of everything I want.

Even if I have to adjust everything I hope for.

Even if I have to redefine everything I think is important.

 

Because my dreams are good … but God’s reality is best.

 

Loving Father,

Help me to be someone who is courageous enough to acknowledge that I do not know what I ultimately want or need to live the life You have designed for me. Help me to open my hands, my heart, and my hope to the plans and purposes You have for me, especially when they are uncomfortable, inconvenient, or radically different from my expectations. Help me to adjust what I need to adjust, change what I need to change, and let go of what I need to let go of … so that nothing is holding me back from submitting to You with all I am and all I hope to be. Thank You for allowing me to experience Your love and Your grace in new and amazing ways every day I choose to follow You and release my life into Your caring and compassionate hands, completely trusting You in all the even if circumstances. In Jesus’ almighty name – AMEN!

 

Marie Fremin.  4/23-4/25/20

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