Tag Archives: choices

Prayer for my Words

Loving Father,

Thank You for Your tender mercies which are new every day.  Mercy to let go of the mistakes of yesterday – the wrong choices, the hurts, the problems, the difficulties.


And the wrong words.

Prayer for my Words

Thank You for mercy …

For every misspoken word.

For every judgmental word.

For every confrontational word.

For every hostile word.

For every shame-filled word.

For every word filled with cruelty, directed by crudity, or coated with carelessness.

For every word that led to a fight, provoked tears, or stirred up animosity.

For every word that added insult to injury.

For every word that chased loved and compassion away.

For every word that ignored grace and forgot gentleness.


And when we fail …


Thank You that You are merciful to forgive us for every instance of words gone wrong … when we ask for forgiveness.


Thank You that You have the needed mercy to help us overcome a toxic tongue, a twisted tongue, a tortuous tongue, and a troublesome tongue.


Thank You that Your grace is more than able to help us “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice” (Ephesians 4:31) that want to possess our tongue and taint our words.


Help us, loving Father, to choose our words carefully.

  • Let us consider their impact upon and persuasion of the hearer.
  • Let us consider the sharp edges and hard feelings of each word, especially in chaotic and stressful situations.
  • Let us consider the danger we can present and the damage we can do with our words.
  • Let us consider the amount of grace coaxing our words and directing our intentions.
  • Let us consider the great hurt we can cause – including to our own person – with our words.
  • Let us consider that a thoughtless or careless word can create a ripple of consequences and backlash.
  • Let us consider how a hard and hurting heart will never begin to heal with graceless words.


Help us to overcome all these things so our words glorify Your wonderful name and speak of Your unfailing love.


Thank You that You can help us speak “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy” (Philippians 4:8) – words filled with positivity, hopefulness, generosity, goodness, kindness, and life.


“May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight …” (Psalm 19:14).


Marie Fremin.  12/16/17, 2/3/18, 2/18/18


Gracefully Broken

Sometimes a song speaks directly to me.  Today I heard Matt Redman’s “Gracefully Broken” at North Point.  And these two words vibrated life, truth, and grace throughout me.


Because that is what we all are – broken.

We lose our wholeness, our identity, our security, and our freedom to sin.

By our reckless choices.  By our selfish whims.  By our careless words.


Yet God loves a broken heart, a broken life, and a broken mind.

Because that is the place God starts to lavishly pour out His extravagant grace.


And His grace takes our selfishness, our sinfulness, and our self-righteousness and breaks them completely.


But He never leaves us where we are or how we are.


He has every intention of recreating us – with more integrity, more compassion, more selflessness, more mercy, more forgiveness, more generosity, and more understanding.


Then I went down to the potter’s house, and there he was, making something at the wheel. And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter; so he made it again into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to make” (Jeremiah 18:3-4).


You are the clay vessel, waiting to be shaped and directed into a more beautiful form.


You are cracked and scarred by your experiences and (unmet) expectations.  Your outer form has been weakened by disappointment, disagreement, and disillusionment.  You have picked yourself up from every trial, every temptation, and every turbulent circumstance – but you feel your value and worth have been diminished and so you feel unworthy and insignificant.


But today hear God say He knows you, every crack and every scratch.  And He still loves you unconditionally.  He loves you so much He wants to help you unleash the potential He placed inside you and become the new vessel He created you to be.

Gracefully Broken

And when you are ready and come to Him, He will gently pick you up – making sure to collect every broken piece – and begin to recreate you into something more beautiful.  And He will smile, because your new self “seemed good to the potter to make”.


So allow yourself to be His stained glass window of grace.  Bring all your seemingly ugly and useless pieces to Him – and watch Him bring life, purpose, and glory to them.


For the Father will do miracles with whatever you give Him.  So give Him your ALL.  Then step back and watch grace recreate and repurpose every broken piece into a healthy and glorious whole.


Marie Fremin.  1/21/18, 1/27/18, 2/18/18

In the Middle of My Pain

In the middle of my pain ….


The emotions are overwhelming, like the roar of high tide.  They kick at peace, scream at hope, and laugh at joy.


The tears flow like a storm in the summer, heavy then scattered, as the emotions ebb and flow.  They may stop for a moment, but they are never far from being expelled again upon the day.


And it feels like being pushed out of a plane at 30,000 feet … without a parachute.

Complete hopelessness.

Complete desperation.

Complete sadness.

In the Middle of My Pain.jpg

I can see God beyond the desert of heart break and hopelessness, but I cannot reach Him.  I am too caught up in the storm, being thrashed and toss, to find the place of escape to run to Him.  I am trapped within my thoughts, a prisoner of grief and anger and hopelessness.


I cry out.  Hoping for release.  Praying for escape.  Longing for peace.


And then I feel Him come to me, reaching out His gentle hand with great compassion.

He wants to help me.

He wants to hold me.

He wants to heal me.


Right where I am.

As the storm rages.

As the skies boom.

As the rivers overflow.


Yet will I let go of the storm cloud I suddenly find myself grasping tightly?  Yes, I look down at my hand and find it closed against God’s goodness.  I find my mind struggling to insert His grace into any crack or crevice … but my heart is too wounded to do anything but shove it aside.  I am too consumed with justification to see His peace wanting to take me over.


I am a slave to my emotions.

I am a whipping boy of my thoughts.

I am a prison of my circumstances.


But thank God there is always another way!


Because in the middle of my pain the choice is always mine.

Stay and sulk.

Or release and renew.


I can continue to hold onto the storm that wants to submerge me and drown me.  Or I can stand still, take a deep breath, and trust God to help me out of the storm into His great purposes.


So in the middle of my pain, who will I be?


Will I be Israel?  As they stood at the edge of the Red Sea, with Egypt chasing hard after them, they allowed fear to rule their hearts and cried out for death (Exodus 14:10-12).  As they stood in the valley facing the armored Philistine warrior, they allowed fear to immobilize them from walking in God’s power (1 Samuel 17:11).  As they heard the reports of the spies, they allowed fear to blind them to God’s ability to overcome every obstacle and every “bad report” (Numbers 13:31-33).


Or will I be Moses? Will I hear God say “Do not be afraid. Stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will accomplish for you today” (Exodus 14:13) and trust Him to make a way?


Or will I be young David?  Will I remember all God has done for me and trust Him to work in mighty power with something as simple and unassuming as a stone (1 Samuel 17:47-49)?


Or will I be Caleb?  Will I stand boldly and confidently in who God is and declare “we are well able to overcome it” (Numbers 13:30)?


So I choose to open my hand, let go of my pain, and lean into God’s grace.  Which is more than enough to calm the storm and redirect me into His unexplainable peace (Philippians 4:7).  And what started as a gruesome day becomes a glorious day!


Marie Fremin.  9/8/17

Just Like Peter

I believe God when He says He knew me before I born.  Because He gave me Peter to read about.


I have always identified myself with Peter.  Impetuous, quick to speak, a little reckless, daring.  But always at his core loyal, loving, and lively.


I know, I know.  How can I call him loyal?  This is the guy who denied Jesus three times in the courtyard (Matthew 26, Mark 14, Luke 22, John 18).  But in his defense, he was loyal up until that point.  He left his business, his home, and his family to follow a Teacher to who loved and cared for all people.  He was the first disciple to proclaim Jesus as the Christ (Matthew 16:16).  He was the disciple quick to defend his friend Jesus in the garden at Judas’ kiss (John 18:10).  He was the first disciple to race toward the risen Savior on the beach (John 21:7).  He was the voice of the new church on Pentecost (Acts 2).


And in his defense, when he denied Jesus, he didn’t know the miracle that was coming.  Sure, he had been told.  Repeatedly.  But it was impossible.  His Teacher was being tried and convicted as a common criminal – and He was going to be put to death.  It was all over, and he had a family to think about.


And I personally am not naïve enough to think I would have reacted any differently.  Yes, I can pridefully say I would.  But I would be a liar.  Because in Peter’s shoes I don’t have the advantage we have now – the real end of the story.


Once Peter realized the end of the story was different than he thought, his posture changed.  His attitude changed.  His thinking changed.




And here you can hear me chuckle as I think how like Peter I truly am.


Last year we hired two shop managers at work.  The first was young and driven by disappointment in having to do administrative work.  When given the choice to be reassigned, he quit.  The second one came with experience and a work ethic.  In preparing to hire him, my only comment was this – “if he starts making more money than me, who has been here 4 years and helped built this business, I will be super pissed.”


Really mature, right?  Just like Peter.  When the resurrected Jesus shows up on the beach in John 21, Peter is so thrilled at recognizing Him that he jumps out of the boat and swims to shore.  They dine, and then Jesus has great compassion on Peter by redeeming his three denials before the cross.  He gives Peter three opportunities to say “You know that I love You” (John 21:15-17) and undo his previous three denials.


So how does Peter react to all this?  By turning to John and asking “But Lord, what about this man?” (John 21:21).  Instead of glorying in Jesus’ complete forgiveness and love, he turns and wants to know John’s fate.


And that was me last year.  “”What are you going to pay him?” was my focus.  Because money is how your value is displayed.  I wanted my value to be denoted.  I wanted my value to be drawn out.  I was Peter, wanting to know how I ranked against someone else.


Maybe not the most healthy attitude.  Maybe a little immature.  But four years and the creation of the inventory system started talking for me.


And it still talks today.  Not as often, but a little more loudly recently.  Because I see value being assigned, and I see my value tipping away.  I have been somewhat consumed lately watching it.  Just as Peter watched the waves.


Peter had it.  He was in the middle of a miracle.  He saw Jesus walk on water.  And it started him thinking.  So he asked Jesus to call him, and then he takes that first (tenuous) step out of the boat.  He has one foot and then two on the water.  And he was still above it!  He gets even bolder and “he walked on the water to go to Jesus” (Matthew 14:29).  But suddenly his focus shifted.  Suddenly the miracle was impossible in the reality of the raging storm.  And in the blink of an eye, he finds himself “beginning to sink” (Matthew 14:30).

Just Like Peter

He let himself be distracted by circumstances instead of focusing on God’s purpose for him.  He destroyed the miracle by looking somewhere other than Jesus.


And I laughed at myself this week as I realized I am Peter in that moment of seeing the wind and waves.  I stopped appreciating where God has me and how God is blessing me.  And I saw myself beginning to sink into discontentment, discouragement, and disappointment.  So far from where God wants me to be.


And just as He was compassionate to Peter, so too is He compassionate toward me.  He didn’t turn to Peter and condemn him.  He didn’t leave Peter to drown.  “And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him” (Matthew 14:31), saving Peter from himself and redeeming his fear for faith.  And as I realize I have been sinking into my emotions, He reaches the same hand to me to pull me up and out.  He doesn’t condemn me, instead offering me the same chance as Peter to redeem myself.


And how can I do that?  Start at Philippians 4:6-11 and focus only on God.

  1. Stop worrying about everyone else. It doesn’t matter what they have.
  2. Be thankful for what God has allowed you to have – and do good with it.
  3. You will never have peace comparing and contrasting your life to others.
  4. Change your thinking and appreciate your “lovely” aspects of life.
  5. Be content where God has you and the blessings He pours into your life. It doesn’t matter what you don’t have.


And get up every day remembering the Bible is full of far from perfect people.  Peter included.  Yet God still loved each one of them truly, working through them in amazing ways.  Because imperfection is the open door for God to begin doing miracles for us and through us.


Thank You, Father, for examples like Peter who remind us we can mess up and still be part of Your miracles.  Thank You for redeeming grace that picks us up and allows us to declare our love and fidelity no matter what we have done.  Help us each to find the Peter of Pentecost within ourselves.  AMEN!


Marie Fremin.  9/3/17


I’ve been thinking this week about how different my life would be if I had kept my “yes” to get married back in 1997.


(Please give me a minute to pass out in realizing this was 20 years ago!)


No wedding meant I stayed in Georgia.  I didn’t go back to Tennessee or wind up on the west coast.  So my 20 years of adult life have all been in Georgia.  But what would I have missed if I had chosen marriage?


No Chico.  OMG, he was a butthead, but that dog knew how to love.  He didn’t trust easily, but when he did, it was with his whole being.  He helped strengthen an already solid faith in God by showing me every day what true love is.


No Melissa or Teri.  These are awesome women of faith who know who God is and believe He can do the impossible.  They have invested in me and engaged in my trials.  They are encouraging and supportive as each day I battle the thorns in my flesh.  And they are always willing to pray for me.  I love you, ladies!


No Bettie.  My life would definitely be less colorful and engaged without this sweet adopted grandmother in my life.  I definitely would not enjoy the beauty of a well-placed “bless your heart” without her.  I am grateful to be part of the love and support she has to give.


And so many other wonderful people who have come in for a season and allowed me to be part of their journey.


Plus a variety of churches to wind up where I belong – in ironically the last place I said I would be.  If I weren’t in Georgia, would I even know who Andy Stanley is?  Would his ministry have had any impact on my life?


What about my love of live theater?  Would I have discovered it living somewhere else?


And then there is the coming into my own.  Would I have embraced my gift of writing?  Allowed myself to be open to share all my bad moments?  Would this blog even exist?  Or would I have been too busy and distracted to stop and listen?


I could be married.  I could have kids.  I could be in another state.

I could be content, or I could be miserable.  I could be settled, or I could be lost.


I don’t know where I could have wound up, since those paths are untraveled.


But I know where I am.  I know God is using where I am for my good and His glory.  I know God is allowing miracles to happen.  And I know God will keep me and work through me as I continue on my chosen path.


Am I sorry about my choice 20 years ago?  I am sorry that people were hurt by my disobedience to God’s guidance.  I am sorry that pain may be the lasting legacy in the memories of those involved.


But otherwise, no.  I am not sorry.  I know I did the right thing for me.  I wanted more than I was getting, and I got shortchanged because it was the wrong season for both of us.  Neither of us was ready to handle together what we wouldn’t face individually.  So it didn’t work, and that’s OK.  I think God used that experience to the full extent of His grace to put everyone back into His will.


So I look back, and I smile.  I have learned a lot, and none it goes to waste in light of God’s goodness.


No, I don’t know what I missed out on because I chose as I did.

But I know who and what I would have missed – and I am so grateful I didn’t.


Thank You, loving Father, for all of it – up to this point and into the future!


Marie Fremin, 8/27/17

Trust Me?

“Do you trust me?”

Trust me

I was asked this question this week, and it took everything in me not to physically cringe or roll my eyes dramatically.  I was willing to answer the question … and answer it honestly.  Even though I knew the answer would not go over well.


But God was gracious, and He allowed it to be a quick question in the middle of a long conversation.  No answer from me was needed.  So no pot was stirred.  No history was repeated.  No feelings were disparaged.


But it still got me thinking what a loaded and potentially dangerous and/or life altering the question can be.


I don’t mind telling you the truth, about anything.  But I realize that my truth telling is conditional.  Because how honest I am depends on who you are and what the situation is.


When you ask me directly, I answer honestly.  There is a really good chance I will be fully honest, holding nothing back.  But I might hesitate at full honesty if the circumstances are sketchy – if I know you will disagree with me, you won’t hear me, you only want me to agree with you (whether I do or not), or you want something use it against me.


And I think we are all the same way (if we’re honest).


But then a bigger question came up – Do I trust God?


It is one thing to have caution and care with people.  But there should be no boundaries, no hesitation, and no doubt when it comes to God.


So do I trust the person who asked me the question?  Not fully, at least not in our shared setting.


Do I trust God?  Completely.


This doesn’t mean I understand everything that happens.

This doesn’t mean I have all my questions answered.

This doesn’t mean I always get my way or my wish.


It simply means that I have come to the crossroads of decision and decided that God is the best choice.


No matter what the circumstance.

No matter what the emotion.

No matter what the comfort level.

No matter what the company.


And King Solomon, the wisest man to ever live, says this is the wisest choice to make.  “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6).


Trust in the Lord – in all circumstances and with all confidence.  Don’t think you know better.  Don’t assume you are smarter.  Don’t try to convince God your plan is better.  Stop and listen to what He wants to say to you – and then not trust your own wants, desires, and thinking.


Maybe he learned this from his father, King David, one of the beloved men of God.  David, no matter what he was going through, always chose to trust God.  When despised and left out by his brothers, he trusted God.  When on the run for 15 years from his father-in-law King Saul, he trusted God.  When God refused to let him build His house, he trusted God.  Through everything he experienced, David chose to live by his words in Psalm 37:3-6 – “Trust in the Lord, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.  Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.  Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass. He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, And your justice as the noonday.”


Maybe you aren’t quite there yet.  And that’s OK.  God is waiting patiently for you.  He can be your hope and your healing, your confidence and your clarity, your surety and your safety, your faith and your future.  When you are ready and decide to trust Him.  “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, And whose hope is the Lord” (Jeremiah 17:7).


Marie Fremin, 8/12/17

My Week

It is amazing how a spirit of generosity and a spirit of peace will be attacked.


I went to Joyce Meyer’s Atlanta conference last weekend.  I kept an envelope for each offering, planning to give as I could.


Then I show up to work on Monday, full-up on God.  And it was a domino effect of crazy in my office.  Each day someone went off about something.  A different person with a different issue each time.  And all I could do was scratch my head as I wondered “what the heck?” through each conversation.


And then it hit me.  I had done something good for my spirit.  I had allowed God’s Word into my eyes, my ears, and my head.  I had soaked my spirit in His truth.  I had worshiped Him.  And I had purposed to be generous.


So boom!  I put a giant target on myself.  I brought myself to the attention of the one who hates worship, generosity, and truth.  So his mission became to counteract everything God did in those 2 days.  And he was going to use anything in my path to pull me away from God’s glory.


And that meant …

  • A car repair for a sudden issue not covered by an expired extended warranty.
  • A dispatcher who has gone into “that’s not our problem” mode.
  • An office manager who replied with a harsh, drawn out, and sarcastic answer to a simple permit questions.
  • An owner who wants to know all but then gets mad and criticizes when a potential problem is brought to his attention.
  • An office staff who puts empty ice cube trays back in the freezer and never pulls a full / overfilled trash bag.
  • A whole call center disappearing by 3pm on a Friday without warning, when the office is open until 6pm.
  • An email server change, so the techs had difficulty sending email


All seemingly small and insignificant things.  Until you shine the light of Jesus on them, so you can see the dark influences conspiring to bring us down.


Because the enemy doesn’t want anything good or true or meaningful to take root in us.  He has an agenda and a purpose for us – and it is all about keeping us as far away from God’s goodness and grace as he can.  He hates light and faith and hope, so he wants to steal them from us.


And he did a bang-up job with me this week.  Every time I turned around, there was another attempt to steal God’s goodness from me.  And sometimes the struggle to stay on point was lost.  I succumbed to his temptation to walk a little less straight, talk a little less right, and think a little less true.  I became the bad seeds Jesus talks about in Matthew 13.


Matthew 13:3-8Then He spoke many things to them in parables, saying: “Behold, a sower went out to sow. And as he sowed, some seed fell by the wayside; and the birds came and devoured them. Some fell on stony places, where they did not have much earth; and they immediately sprang up because they had no depth of earth. But when the sun was up they were scorched, and because they had no root they withered away. And some fell among thorns, and the thorns sprang up and choked them. But others fell on good ground and yielded a crop: some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty.


Notice there were 4 results from the same seed being sown.  We have 4 possible responses to anything we experience – but only 1 of them is true and produces eternal echoes.  And we decide what it will be.  By our choices.  By our responsiveness.  By our attitudes.  By whatever we are intentional about doing, chasing, and thinking.


Yet we tend to do exactly what I found myself doing – echoing the ways of the world.

We let confusion cloud our perspective.

We let fear delegate our direction.

We let popularity define our identity.

We let feelings draw and/or obstruct our path.

We let greed choke out our love.

We let circumstances hinder our hope.

We let trials impact our thoughts.


When we need to stop, reflect, and let God take complete control.  We need to choose to let go and be still.  No stones in our hearts or hands.  No dry places in our understanding.  No cares in our thoughts and words.


Just open hands and an open heart, so we become “the good ground” (23) in which God can always do a good work – in us and through us.


So if I want my life to be productive and effective, then I have to learn to stop my tongue and control my thoughts.  And this is a battle I face every day.


I didn’t get it 100% right this past week.  No, I didn’t bite back or allow an argument to brew.  But I did do a lot of eye rolling.  I did have many care-full thoughts that wanted to bend to condemnation.  I did try to stand in judgment and compare behavior.  I did have a stressful day at least one of those days worrying about what would happen next.


I see where I went the wrong direction.

I see where I didn’t lean toward God’s best.

I see where I let my feelings dominate me.

I see where the darkness stopped my progress.


Thank God He won’t give up on me!  Thank God He allows me to learn from my mistakes and bad choices.  Thank God He loves a work in progress.


So this masterpiece isn’t finished yet.  One bad week won’t delegate my future or define my identity.  It will, however, draw me closer into God’s grace, allow me to receive His direction, and show me the beauty of forgiveness.


So I will reflect on what I have done and how I could do better in the same circumstance.  I will continue to work on being less like stressed out and fearful Israel standing on the bank of the Red Sea (Exodus 14:10-11).


That means I need to lean more into the wise advice of His Word:

  • Stop and trust God is in control. Exodus 14:13-1413 And Moses said to the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will accomplish for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall see again no more forever. 14 The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace.”
  • Stop thinking so much about me and my ideas of right. Proverbs 3:5-6Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own  understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.
  • Stop being critical. Matthew 7:1-5 – “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
  • Remember how two wrongs can’t make a right and be quiet! Galatians 5:15 – But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another!
  • Remember humility. Galatians 5:26 – Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.


I didn’t get a lot of this right this past week.  But this coming week is a blank canvas, waiting to be drawn upon.  I will make choices that will add color and shading and shapes.  So Father, help me to do better and be more loving.  Because I know the enemy isn’t giving up on me.  So help me be relentless for You while he is pressing me.  In Jesus’ almighty name.  AMEN!


Marie Fremin, 7/30/17