For the last two weeks, I have felt like I am stuck in the middle of a maze. Unsure of where I am and uncertain of where I need to turn. I feel like I was making good progress and going with God’s flow while considering the possibilities of where He would lead. Then BAM! I turned a corner of the maze and hit a dead end.
So I backtrack to the last sure place and try again. A few more steps, and I hit another dead end. So I turn back again and try another direction. A few more steps, and I hit another dead end.
So now I am standing in the middle of the maze. Feeling lost, confused, and stuck. And so I look up to God, who sees beyond all the dead ends, and I ask “which way do I go?” – because I don’t know.
I don’t know if I should stay straight or turn left or right.
I don’t know which direction leads to the exit.
I don’t know how many more dead ends I have to face before I find my way out.
And I feel God nudge me that I have found the right answer in saying “I don’t know”.
Because I truly don’t know. Which means I either try to figure it out for myself – and possibly stay lost for hours – or I trust Him to guide me out. For God sees me, and God sees the exit. And God knows the steps I need to take to get out of the maze. And God is trying to get me to turn in the right direction – following Him – so He can lead me where I need to go.
Because I do not have all the answers.
Because I cannot see above the maze or beyond the walls in front of me.
Because I can keep making wrong turns for a while.
But instead I choose to say “I Don’t Know”. And I what I find is that “I Don’t Know” is the starting point for God. To move. To speak. To guide. To encourage. To impart. To send.
“I Don’t Know” is the place where my humanity and limited perspective meets a supernatural and unlimited God.
“I Don’t Know” is the place where I (need to) pause. To seek God. To ask God. To learn. To listen. To wait. To pray. To be still. To trust.
Because I need someone to help me, to turn me, to guide me, and to direct me.
And when I choose to say “I Don’t Know”, I open the door for God to start moving – for me, in me, and through me. Because “I Don’t Know” is my starting point. For answers. For direction. For a miracle. For revelation. For my destiny.
I don’t know what tomorrow will look like. He has a good plan.
I don’t have many answers. He has them all, and He will reveal them as I need to know.
I don’t know which direction to turn to walk with Him. He will guide me.
I don’t know what to say to encourage someone’s faith. He will give me the words.
I don’t know how the dream in my heart will come to pass. He is working it out.
I don’t know how to let go and forgive the hurts of my past. He does, and He is walking me toward forgiveness and reconciliation.
I don’t know how to always treat people compassionately and fairly. He does, and He is teaching me to walk in love at all times.
So I need to come to the place where I don’t know, and He will meet me there. He will walk with me. He will teach me. He will give me peace, joy, and hope. He will help me to be thankful for all things. He will shower me with grace.
And then He will fill me with compassion, to help point others to their “I Don’t Know” epiphany.
So I don’t know. But God does. He sees me, no matter where I am. He knows right where I am. No matter how many wrong turns I take. No matter how stuck I feel. No matter how long I wander. And He loves me unconditionally through it all.
So I will say “I Don’t Know” and hope in the One who does. Because He will make sure I get out of the maze – either taking me turn-by-turn or by creating a door in the dead end.
So I don’t know. I will consider the possibilities in front of me, yet I will trust God to guide me in the right direction. I will believe God to turn me in the right direction. I will stand confident that God will show me the right direction. And this will leave me open and flexible to whatever way God sends me.
I don’t know, and that’s the best place for me to be. How about you?
Marie Fremin, 1/31/16